One woman shared her dilemma on the British forum, “Mumsnet” and asked internet users what she should do going forward.
The woman’s ex-fiance emailed her saying he wants equal custody of the baby from the moment it’s born.
The woman explained that her ex-fiance left her a month ago when she was 30 weeks pregnant. Recently, he reached out to her regarding the custody of her unborn child. RELATED: Man Sparks Debate After Telling Wife Not To Put Baby In Bed With Him When She Leaves For Work The woman was strongly against giving her ex equal custody of the baby, especially after he left her while she was pregnant. She wrote, “With the help of women’s aid and a good friend who’s a family law solicitor I wrote back saying that he can have 3 hours a day, SIX days a week at the home in order to bond with baby and let baby settle [into] her routine with me.” But the man was displeased with the woman’s offer and insisted on having equal custody — the woman stood strong on her offer.
In the comments section, she clarified some of the details and that she was willing to be lenient with her offer.
“If he thinks 6 days a week at varying times isn’t enough! I’ve offered some mornings, some afternoons and some evenings so baby experiences every time of day with him too!” the woman added. Despite all that, her ex-fiance thought she was being unreasonable and didn’t accept her offer while criticizing her decisions. The woman wrote, “He actually said in response to my 3 hours a day six days a week, ‘I just hope she doesn’t resent you for depriving her of a loving relationship with her dad.’” The woman wasn’t against the idea of equal custody as she shares a similar situation with another son. RELATED: Woman Asks If She’s Wrong To Refuse To Pay For Life-Saving Surgery For Boyfriend’s Son Who She Has Never Met “My son has 5050 with his dad and is so happy but that was after his dad and I lived together when he was little and 5050 began when he was in school,” the woman explained. She would happy if a similar situation occurred with her baby in the future, but as the child in question would be just a baby, the woman fears taking such drastic measures from the start.
Internet users supported the woman and let her know her initial offer was too lenient.
One user wrote, “3 hours per day is too much. I would offer 2 hours 5 days per week. Arrange an appointment with a mediator and have it written into a parenting plan. If he doesn’t turn up or engage that will count against him in court if he goes that way.” Another user wrote, “I think your offer was more than generous, and as he was verbally and emotionally abusive, I would rescind your offer. He shouldn’t be in your home, and he will try and bully you into doing things you don’t want to do.” “He left you only 4 weeks ago and still thinks he can manipulate and bully you. You don’t need unnecessary stress while pregnant…you would think such a doting loving father would realize that.” one person commented. RELATED: Man Asks If He’s Wrong For Missing Daughter’s Birth Because His Dad Wouldn’t Give Him Time Off Work Sanika Nalgirkar is a News & Entertainment Writer for YourTango. She has a master’s degree in Creative Writing. See more of her writing on her website.
