According to the Enneagram, there are nine universal personality types. Most likely you encompass pieces of all nine types, however, most experts agree you possess one dominant type. Every human being emerges from childhood with inborn temperament and dominating personality traits. Believe it or not, your DNA encodes most personality characteristics. It is these inborn tendencies that largely determine the ways in which you adapt to your childhood environment, family members, education, and conflicts — and not the other way around. This could very well be the reason why you may not get along with your ex-boyfriend, while his current girlfriend seems to have a soul connection. Or perhaps you and your husband get along beautifully, but you don’t fare well with his family. RELATED: 15 Definitive Signs You’re With A Good Man (As Written By One)
The nine personality types and their best love matches:
1. The Perfectionist
The Perfectionist personality type has high standards; is often critical of herself and her partner; motivated by improving people and the world around her; often seen as controlling, obsessive, judgmental; seeks perfection; wouldn’t think of asking for help. Best Love Match: The Adventurer (teaches the perfectionist how to lighten up) Worst Love Match: The Romantic (not productive enough for the perfectionist)
2. The Helper
The Helper personality type puts her partner’s needs ahead of her own; has trouble receiving; may tend to work or perform for love; good listener; masks her own feelings; prioritizes herself last; has a dire need for the others’ love; will manipulate or victimize herself to get love; overly accommodating; won’t speak up for herself. Best Love Match: The Asserter (can teach the helper how to speak up) Worst Love Match: The Romantic (will take advantage of the helper) RELATED: 6 Ways To Know, Without A Doubt, That He Is The One
3. The Achiever
Someone with the Achiever personality type measures herself by her success; driven; typically not in touch with her feelings or her partner’s feelings; industrious; efficient; often overly competitive, narcissistic, and insensitive to achieve results; may ignore her partner; preoccupied with work. Best Love Match: The Adventurer (achiever can learn how to have fun) Worst Love Match: The Peacemaker (achievers will see them as lazy and unmotivated)
4. The Romantic
As you’d expect, the Romantic personality type is emotional and needs you to notice her; often idealistic about her relationships; creative; warm; needs you to understand her; can attract a partner very easily, but has trouble keeping her; goes to great lengths to avoid being ordinary; often moody, depressed, guilt-ridden; expects excessive availability from her partner or they feel neglected. Best Love Match: The Perfectionist (ironically the perfectionist can teach herself discipline and practicality) Worst Love Match: The Helper (romantic becomes overly dependent) RELATED: 6 Sweet Signs You’re Already In The Right Relationship
5. The Observer
The Observer personality type is curious; needs to understand every detail; a bit of a loner; may have trouble connecting in relationships; self-sufficient; doesn’t want to look foolish or stupid; wise; analytical; often stubborn, and emotionally distant. Best Love Match: The Adventurer (can teach observer how to become more fun-loving and broad-minded) Worst Love Match: The Asserter (they will fuel each other’s anger)
6. The Loyalist
The Loyalist personality type likes safety, and security; doesn’t like change; seeks approval; insecure, loyal, responsible, trustworthy; does not trust easily; tends to make a great monogamous partner; sometimes paranoid; worrier, defensive, and independent. Best Love Match: The Peacemaker (teaches the loyalist to take life less seriously) Worst Love Match: The Achiever (loyalist will feel neglected around achievers)
7. The Adventurer
The Adventurer personality type needs freedom; short attention span; tends to get bored easily, especially in relationships; likes to have fun; avoids suffering and negativity; charming, spontaneous; sometimes restless, impulsive, undisciplined, and rebellious. Best Love Match: The Observer (settles the adventurer down) Worst Love Match: The Perfectionist (adventurer becomes resentful of the perfectionist; sees him/her as the bulwark to having fun) RELATED: If Your Guy Has These 21 Habits, Marry Him IMMEDIATELY
8. The Asserter
The Asserter personality type tends to be loud; somewhat aggressive; likes to take on the bully; isn’t intimidated by much; needs to be heard; self-reliant; direct; protective; can be domineering, insensitive, aggressive, and controlling. Best Match: The Helper (teaches the asserter vulnerability, tenderness, and concern for others) Worst Match: The Observer (asserter becomes distrusting; more withdrawn)
9. The Peacemaker
The Peacemaker personality type wants everyone to get along; usually the mediator; avoids conflict; takes on the other eight personalities depending on who he/she is trying to make happy; can be pleasant, generous, open-minded, stubborn, passive-aggressive, judgmental. Best Match: The Achiever (peacemaker becomes more efficient and productive) Worst Match: The Loyalist (peacemaker becomes more indecisive and rigid, overwhelmed by worry and anxiety) RELATED: 10 Things Guys Always Do When They’re In Love (And You Probably Don’t Notice) Denise Wade Ph.D. CMRC is a dating Mentor, transformational educator, author, researcher, and relationship expert.
