If we could see acts of infidelity before they happened, we might make very different decisions about marriages and relationships altogether. If nothing else, we wouldn’t be shocked to find out our boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife has had an affair. But it goes without saying that people with certain personality types are more likely to be caught cheating than others. It’s something most of us understand intuitively, even if we can’t exactly explain it to anyone else, or even to ourselves. Looking back after learning of an affair, many betrayed partners say things like, “I should have seen it coming.” RELATED: 8 Things Chronic Cheaters Have In Common Taken together, these observations suggest an important truth that recent research has begun to corroborate. Simply put, partners who exhibit certain dominant personality traits are more likely to cheat than others. And although nothing can truly prepare you for the experience of a partner’s infidelity, you can put your observations of your partner to good use if their behavior is, or later becomes, suspicious. RELATED: The 7 Steps (Almost) Every Relationship Experiences Before A Major Affair
7 personality traits commonly found in people who are caught cheating in marriages and romantic relationships
1. Narcissism
Narcissism isn’t easy to define. Similarly, it can also be difficult to spot, especially during the early part of a relationship. This isn’t the place for a deep dive into the narcissistic personality type, but your partner might be a narcissist if they:
Are egotisticalAre self-absorbedDisplay a lack of empathyAre manipulative
Being romantically involved with a true narcissist is something else entirely, but if your partner consistently displays the above traits, you should probably still be on your guard against the possibility of infidelity. It’s sad to say, but someone who’s this self-involved is capable of almost anything. RELATED: 3 Infidelity Stories That Show How The Truth Can Hurt — But There’s Always A Silver Lining
2. Flirtatiousness
Being attentive and charming is one thing, but persistent flirtatiousness can be a strong indicator of future infidelity. People who flirt a lot like to give and receive attention, sometimes at the expense of their partner’s feelings. And while you probably shouldn’t read too much into occasional flirting, it is something to be wary of if your relationship shows other signs of trouble. RELATED: 15 Telltale Signs He’s Cheating On You, According To Cheaters
3. Greediness
If your partner demonstrates greed in many of his or her dealings with others, it could be a sign of future infidelity. This is especially true if their greed is paired with a “grass is always greener on the other side” mentality. These two qualities are unpleasant enough on their own. But when you find them merged within one person, they could comprise a disturbing tendency. It’s an ugly truth to contend with, but some people believe they deserve more than others. The source of this sense of entitlement varies from person to person, but a partner who’s driven by greed is probably not a partner you should trust without justification. RELATED: The Truth About How Cheaters Think (And Why You Should Never Give Them A Second Chance)
4. Insecurity
While a certain amount of self-doubt is reasonable and healthy, a partner with deep insecurities can be a real problem. This is especially true regarding infidelity. In most cases, deep feelings of insecurity stem from large reserves of pain, and unfortunately, some people are willing to cheat on their partner to soothe this pain for a while. That’s why it’s wise to watch out if your partner is excessively insecure. Someone who remains hurt for long periods of time might not think twice about hurting you. All by itself, insecurity doesn’t guarantee that your partner will be unfaithful. But it could be an indicator of future infidelity if it occurs in tandem with one or more of the other traits on our list. RELATED: 15 Signs Your Spouse Is Cheating And Can’t Be Trusted
5. Impulsiveness
A lack of impulse control is the hallmark of many cheating partners. Extremely impulsive people sometimes lack the discipline to make kind and loving choices. This may or may not be a reflection of their core morality, but impulse control can be an indicator of infidelity. And remember, there’s a big difference between being “spontaneous” and lacking impulse control. The first is a fun, energetic quality to have, while the second can be a sign of pathology. But like many of the traits on our list, impulsivity doesn’t guarantee infidelity all by itself. RELATED: People Who Do These 4 Things Are More Likely To Cheat
6. Permissive toward infidelity
Some people have more libertine attitudes toward relationships than others. While the origins of these attitudes can be difficult to trace, a partner with a permissive stance toward infidelity might be cause for suspicion. If this permissive attitude merely means your partner is non-judgmental, there might not be anything to worry about. But, if this permissive stance extends beyond the philosophical realm, it could be an indicator of infidelity. Remember, people tell us who they are with their attitudes, words, and actions. For the purpose of self-preservation, it’s always a good idea to listen to what your partner has to say. RELATED: The 3 Types Of Couples Who Experience Affairs (& The Ones Most Likely To Stay Together)
7. Excessively suspicious
It’s an old saying that cheaters think everyone else is a cheater, too. If your partner constantly thinks you’re cheating on them, it could be a sign that they’re likely to be unfaithful themselves. You should be especially careful if these suspicions arise out of nothing or become a dominant theme of your relationship. We all get jealous or suspicious at times, but neither of these is the defining trait of a healthy person. An honest partner won’t accuse you of being unfaithful because they don’t sense such deceitful tendencies floating around in their own heart. RELATED: How Men Can Tell If You’re Faithful Just By Looking At You
There are no guaranteed indicators of future infidelity
This is an important fact to remember as you apply this new knowledge to your relationship. Obviously, no one is perfect. Your partner is bound to exhibit a version of these traits at one time or another, but this doesn’t mean they’re definitely going to cheat on you. Regarding the possibility of cheating, the significance of these personality traits is always contextual. We’re all insecure, greedy, or impulsive at times, but if these traits are (or become) defining qualities of your partner, there might be trouble ahead. Lastly, the worst-case scenario is one in which your partner suddenly starts to manifest several of these traits simultaneously. That’s when it might be time to start taking stock. RELATED: 4 Honest Men Confess The Real Reason They Cheated On Their Wives C. Mellie Smith is a relationship & infidelity expert and former betrayed spouse. She writes about healing from affairs and helps couples overcome cheating with tools and resources.
