This love I’ve come to know goes by the name of technology. The only thing that has ever been there for me at 2 A.M., or when I needed a funny cat video. Sometimes even at 2 A.M. Of course, we have tough times, but one thing is clear: the good outweighs the bad. All-day, every day. Seriously, when I think about how lost I’d be without certain luxuries that we’re granted via technology — calculators, Google, smartphones — I can’t help but be overly thankful for the stuff. RELATED: The Horrifyingly Creepy Reason Men Hit On Me Our phones alone play so many different roles in our life, from entertainers to doctors. So it’s no surprise that in 2017, Harvard researchers created a new smartphone device that allows men to check their sperm count in the comfort of their homes (similar to a home pregnancy test). They don’t have to count it themselves anymore! Technology really is amazing! Here’s the lowdown on how it works: A 3D-printed case is attached to a smartphone and a semen sample is collected using a disposable microchip with an attached bulb. Then the sperm-filled chip is slid into the phone case where it aligns with the camera lens. An accompanying app then does the work (along with an LED, lenses, and a few other techie things in the case)… magnifying, counting, and timing his swimmers in less than 5 seconds. I don’t have to do it for him anymore! The best part? You wouldn’t have to sell whatever sperm you do have on the black market in order to purchase the gizmo — the device is crazy-cheat to make at just $4.45 each. No need to go to the sperm bank, just basically download an app. RELATED: I Was Told I’m A “Bad Catholic” For Getting Artificially Inseminated Brilliant, right? And the black market is still an option if you need extra cash. There are still some kinks to work out, such as it is able to detect deformed sperm and “cellular debris” that may come from the phone. And then there’s the fact that it could be years before this male fertility test ever reaches homes. (You know, FDA approval and finding someone to mass-produce and sell it.) But researchers are confident that they’re doing something that will benefit the greater good of the estimated 30 million men worldwide who deal with infertility, especially those who don’t have access to fertility clinics and to men simply looking to monitor their sperm count after a recent vasectomy. RELATED: Why I Severely Regret Donating My Eggs And, I have to agree that this is good news for couples looking to have a baby or even men who don’t want to encounter the awkwardness of whacking off in a hospital gown with home living magazines. But, until this thing hits the market, that’ll have to do. Kiarra Sylvester, MEd, is the founder of Black Girl Book Collective and a sex educator on a mission to decolonize Black women’s sexuality.
