No matter whose semen it is, it tastes like a cross between sour juice, bitters, mold, and a dirty sock. Even celebrity chef Bobby Flay couldn’t make this milky concoction taste good. I’ve hypothesized that women who say it tastes good are either lying or have taste buds damaged by years of smoking. But I don’t smoke, and, like Abe Lincoln, I cannot tell a lie. I love a nice pearl necklace, but semen tastes horrible and makes me gag. This is funny because 80 percent of it is water. Apparently, the prostatic fluid which contains proteins, amino acids, fructose, glucose, zinc, calcium, vitamin C, and a few other nutrients is what gives it its odd bitter tasting flavor. Maybe it’s nature’s way of saying put that sperm in your vagina, not your mouth, but I don’t care. I am dedicated to being a good girlfriend. I want to enjoy his semen during oral sex. I want to relish it with the same fervor I do a bowl of Ben & Jerry’s Coffee Toffee Bar Crunch.
Does pineapple juice make your sperm taste better?
Pineapple juice apparently can make semen taste better, though not necessarily sweeten it; that goes for any sugary juice or food. The components of pineapple juice that help semen taste better are its acidic pH level and its extremely high sugar content. This is due to the amount of acid and sugar within the fruit itself. It mixes with the fructose and glucose already found in semen and makes the pH more acidic, creating a non-bitter taste. This goes actually for lemons and cranberries as well. If you drink (or eat) enough of it, the high sugar intake along with its acidic pH can break down the bitterness in the taste of semen. Not only that, but it can also make semen smell better as a bonus. Though there is no scientific proof of this, the contents of the fruit are able to do enough for us to actually taste the change in the bodily fluid. So, the acidic-based fruit can mask the bitter taste of semen. As for women, many also swear that pineapple juice alters the taste of their vagina or vaginal fluid. While there’s also no scientific research to support the claim, your diet does change the way all your bodily fluids, and overall aroma, taste and smell. RELATED: How To Know If You’re Allergic To Semen
Can you change the taste of sperm?
The intrepid scientist that I am, I want to know how to make his semen taste better. It turns out that eating certain foods can change the pH in your saliva and other bodily fluids, so it makes sense to assume the same for semen. Though there are plenty of articles claiming that different foods and beverages can improve the taste of semen, actual scientific research on this is almost non-existent. Shrouded in mystery and hearsay, many of the methods commonly recommended come with very few accounts of firsthand use. So, with my boyfriend’s (very enthusiastic) approval, we decided to give it a whirl in a four-part experiment that included him ingesting pineapple juice, celery, meat (to see if it makes it taste worse and therefore should be avoided), and Masque Flavor Strips, all to see if it’s actually possible to mask the taste of semen. To be fair (and in the interest of improving people’s lives everywhere) we decided I should partake in the experiment as well. Although my boyfriend thinks my vagina tastes and smells like daisies and peaches, he’s experienced many a lady who was a little funky below the belt (he chalked it up to poor hygiene). He was skeptical that changing my diet would make a difference given that vaginal lubrication isn’t exactly liquid. But in altering my diet we hoped to at least find out. And we did. Men and women of the world, you’re welcome.
Here’s what we learned about whether pineapple juice, meat, celery, and flavor strips can make semen or vaginas taste better:
1. Pineapple juice
Since what seems like the invention of the juicer, the wonders of pineapple juice have been lauded for their semen-sweetening abilities. And, after my first sip, I can see why; it’s like drinking a glass of sugar water. So sweet is the bright yellow-orange juice, I feel like I might instantly go into diabetic shock. And I’m not even diabetic. My boyfriend, for his part, wasn’t as grossed out at first, but after three days he started emphatically insisting that he can’t possibly drink another glass of pineapple juice without hurling. We tested the results of our pineapple juice guzzling while on a southwest road trip. It was a warm summer day, the scenery was beautiful, and I felt inspired to make the drive a little more exciting. So while he was driving, I unzipped his pants and went to work. Maybe it was the wind blowing in our hair or the bubbling sounds of the river next to us, but my boyfriend ejaculated faster than he ever had. Swishing him around my mouth, I realized it actually did taste significantly sweeter. Not crème brûlée sweet, but sweet enough to neutralize any harsh flavors. Gone was the bitter, sour, taste and in its place was a neutral, lightly-sugary taste that was much more palatable than the original. To his delight, I let out an enthusiastic, “Mmmmm!” I was surprised and excited; maybe I could start to swallow without gagging! When we finally got to our destination, my boyfriend quickly threw me on my back and went to work downstairs. Fortunately for me, he had nothing to report. I still tasted and smelled exactly the same. Given how sweet pineapple juice is, the last thing I needed was for him to get addicted to my pineapple-infused nether regions.
2. Celery
After doing some research, I began to suspect my man had tricked me. Celery is known more for increasing lubrication (aka wetness), not changing flavor. Perhaps he was just looking forward to giving me a larger pearl necklace? You see, according to the connoisseur of all things sex-related, in his book “Tommyland,” Motley Crüe drummer Tommy Lee asked porn star Peter North how he “sandblasts every single girl in his scenes with a gallon of man juice.” To which North told him to eat a bunch of celery the day before. Of course, my boyfriend insists he wasn’t trying to fool me and that he really heard celery makes semen taste good. So we proceeded as planned. Perhaps the celery would even produce the elusive female ejaculate. In case you’re wondering, a “bunch of celery” is a lot. At 6'3", my guy can eat all day long. He had no problem incorporating the celery into his diet (though by day three, he was pretty sick of it). But at a tiny 5'1", I have the metabolism and appetite of a small bird. Eating that much celery forced me to eliminate things I actually enjoy eating. For example, instead of my normal scrambled eggs for breakfast, I ate celery with peanut butter. Snack time, I skip mixed nuts for celery with ranch dressing. Three days later, stuffed to the gills with the green stuff, we took turns going down on each other while watching a basketball game on my sofa. I braced myself waiting for a geyser of his semen to shoot out at me. Instead, all I got was the normal ejaculate. I suppose if I had been trying to get pregnant I’d be disappointed, but since I wasn’t, I was thrilled to not have to swallow any extra. Flavor-wise, the semen sample was better tasting than normal (as in, not bitter or salty) but not as good as the sweeter pineapple-infused version. As for any changes in how I tasted, once again my boyfriend couldn’t tell any difference even after a good 20 minutes of oral.
3. Meat
It’s been suggested that vegetarians “taste better.” And as someone who is a vegetarian (or pescatarian, to be exact), I wanted to prove that this axiom was true. My boyfriend is not only a meat-eater but also a hunter, so he’s been not-so-secretly hoping that I’d join the other team and eat a steak with him. So of course, he was thrilled with this part of our experiment. I was just excited to prove that I would taste and smell stinky after eating meat. (Actively trying to create an unpleasant smelling vagina for my boyfriend might be a first.) So for three days, I stopped being a vegetarian and chowed down on everything from bacon to sausage to pork chops. My boyfriend increased his meat intake, eating jerky for snacks and forgoing vegetables. When it came to show time, we were a little exhausted after what was a long day for both of us. Our normally spontaneous sex sessions had taken on a bit too much planning and regulation. Nonetheless, even though we both wanted to sleep, we soldiered on. He headed down south, while I eagerly hoped I didn’t taste good. But alas, after he finished me off, he came back up to report that, once again, he tasted no difference. I felt like I let down my friends at PETA, but I focused on my work ahead of me. I slid down between his legs and went to town on him until he was ready to orgasm. The verdict? Pretty much the same as his normal stuff. (Sigh!) I guess he won’t be giving up red meat anytime soon since it’s an urban legend.
4. Masque Flavor Strips
Since downing the same foods and beverages constantly over the course of three days was making us ill, we were thrilled to discover an easier solution: Masque Flavor Strips. One of the benefits of being a sex writer is that you learn about products that a normal person would never even conceive of. The strips are dissolvable, flavored strips that you put in your mouth 15 minutes before fellatio. They come in four practically popsicle-like flavors: strawberry, watermelon, mango, and chocolate. I decided to go for strawberry since that seemed like the flavor that would go best with semen. And, to get us back to spontaneous, I decided my best course of action would be to surprise him in the morning before work with a blow job. After first having non-taste test sex, we dozed off briefly. Waking back up, I secretly slipped one of the strips in my mouth, shoved the blankets aside and went to work on my man. He was pleasantly surprised and, when he orgasmed 10 minutes later, I was surprised, too — the strip actually worked! It didn’t offer 100 percent taste coverage, but it did mask about 80 percent of the flavor (making his semen much easier to swallow, and the blow job ultimately more enjoyable for him). The only problem? The packaging is almost impossible to rip open, which is a major buzz kill “in the moment.” In the future, I will definitely prepare by cutting open a package ahead of time. My boyfriend returned the favor by popping a strip into his mouth and going down on me. At this point, I was unsurprised when he came back up telling me he didn’t really need it. If anything, it was distracting since he liked my actual taste. (I knew I loved him for a reason.) RELATED: 5 Foods To Eat If You Want Your Vagina To Taste Good
What foods are best for changing the taste of semen?
Believe it or not, there are certain foods that can change the pH of a vagina and the taste of semen. Some change the taste for the better, while others make the taste bitter and a bit unpleasant. Eating fruits that are sugary, as well as certain spices, alter the taste. For instance, kiwi, peaches, dates, blueberries, cinnamon, wheatgrass, and parsley all make the taste much better, both for men and women. However, there are foods to stay away from. Foods like garlic, dairy, red meat, and green veggies (broccoli and spinach, just to name a few) add a bitter, salty taste to semen, and are likely to be released as toxins for your body in urine, sweat, and, yes, semen. Final Thoughts I learned something very important from this experiment: force-feeding yourself (or your partner) in the name of making your juices taste better is not worth it. That said, it was fun to finally test this long standing notion. I can firmly conclude that pineapple juice does in fact alter the taste of semen. Lady juices, not so much. (Bummer for any women out there who have funky vaginas.) At least, in my personal experience. As for which method ultimately improved the flavor of semen, it’s a tie between pineapple juice and the flavor strips. The pineapple juice definitely made my boyfriend’s man juice taste better, but drinking pineapple juice three times a day is way too much. (Though my boyfriend really did enjoy my reaction to his semen, so he may turn to pineapple juice for special occasions, like birthdays and anniversaries.) In the meantime, I think I’ll just stick to the flavor strips. RELATED: 5 Ways To Make A Penis Taste Way Better Alex Alexander is a frequent contributor to YourTango and has written extensively on love, relationships, and lifestyle topics.
