What is does mean is she is incapable of being in a healthy relationship with you at this point in time because her relationship with herself is impaired. What she needs is take the necessary steps to be strong in who she is before she is ready to love you. How can she do this? By devoting a significant amount of time and energy into herself and her healing (inspired by her own free will and strong desire). Then and only then she is better, and able to withstand the rigors that intimacy requires. RELATED: How To Love A Woman With Anxiety Whether she is on her healing path or stuck in chronic emotional instability, her main focus will be on herself for the indefinite future and not on you. Therefore, unless you are attached to having a broken heart (in which case you have your own emotional instability that needs healing), leave now if you notice any of these signs.
8 Signs of an emotionally unstable woman
1. She trusts everyone but herself.
Trusting everyone but oneself is often a symptom of trauma. Childhood trauma, in particular, can cause a person to abandon themselves and their own needs in order to survive. As a consequence, girls become women who give their power to others, which eventually comes back to bite them and causes resentment. Though it might feel good to be trusted by her, if that trust is based on a lack of confidence instead of intimacy developed with you over time, then the trust is not about you. It’s about her unhealed wound. The reason why she lacks trust in herself predicts future heartbreak for you. This means she can be influenced any which way the wind blows. She cannot be trusted to stand strong in her own moral compass because she has yet to develop one. When a woman is strong in who she is, she can be a reliable teammate for you.
2. She lacks physical wellness.
When a woman is not physically well and fit, she may lack the vital energy that is necessary to demonstrate love. A lack of physical wellness causes her to be distracted by uncomfortable physical symptoms, stagnant energy, and oftentimes, low self-esteem. All of these distracters can cause emotional upset and take away from her ability to love you. RELATED: The Sad Truth About The Effects Of Emotional Abuse On Your Brain
3. She abuses substances.
This includes excessive food, alcohol, marijuana, tobacco, caffeine, and prescription drugs. True intimacy cannot take place while altered by a substance that creates an unauthentic mood. Chemicals absolutely alter emotions, which is why people ingest them. The more she needs, the more unstable she becomes emotionally. A woman is unable to give you the love and attention you deserve when they she is too preoccupied with getting her next “fix”. If she abuses any kind of substance, she is not a fulfilling partner because she will always put the substance before you, before herself, and before her higher power. While plenty of couples exist wherein one or both partners abuse substances, emotional instability lies below the surface. Remember, just because you are in a relationship, that does not mean it’s a healthy or satisfying one.
4. She remains in uninspiring and/or disrespectful relationships.
Examine the various relationships in her life and you will discover how she really feels about herself (and about her life). If she allows herself to constantly be disrespected, or in uninspiring relationships, then some part of her feels unworthy and inadequate. The more unworthy she person feels, the more she will rely on you to define her worth; a codependent relationship leads to heartbreak. An emotionally solid woman is one who has confidence. Humble yes, but she also knows her worth and doesn’t need anyone to create it for her. Think of someone in business who gives all of their goods or services away for free or for much lower than their worth, versus someone who charges for the value they know they offer. The one who charges is clean and balanced mentally and emotionally, whereas the one who does not charge (or undercharges) makes others more important than their survival. It is a weakness that they need to shore up or else they will go broke! The same is true in love relationships. Women that don’t value themselves likely have anxiety and depression, which can be a real heartbreaker for you.
RELATED: 9 Relationship Deal Breakers You Might Be Ignoring (That Are Keeping You From Finding “The One”)
5. She always has a pessimistic attitude.
A pessimistic and faithless attitude means a person lacks spiritual wellbeing. Because the highest and truest reason for a relationship is to put you in touch with your own divinity, this one is a deal-breaker. If she does not see life through a divine lens, she will not see the divinity in you nor will she have faith in the relationship or its greater potential.
6. She refuses to take accountability for her actions
Taking accountability is a skill that is necessary to maintaining healthy relationships — whether romantic or platonic. A woman that is unable to own up to her actions, and constantly denies any wrongdoing, may be emotionally unstable. A mature adult is able to identify her issues and mistakes made. Reconciliation will be a struggle for the woman that lacks a strong emotional capacity. RELATED: Emotionally Unavailable People Share These 10 Confusing Traits
7. She has no boundaries and doesn’t respect the boundaries of others.
When you are constantly reminding her to respect your boundaries and to set limits with others, she may be emotionally unstable. A woman’s self-esteem is tied to her boundaries. If she is unable to keep herself from crossing the line or telling others when they have do so, her self-esteem is low. The way she views her worth and importance has a lot to do with the boundaries she puts in place with those around her.
8. She struggles to commit to anything.
Is she constantly canceling plans? Do you watch her flake out on her friends and family? If yes, that is a clear warning sign. Commitment to anything or anyone is hard for her because she lacks trust in herself and others. She may even have a hard time defining relationship status because that means she has to commit to that role, exclusively. Emotional instability does not mean a woman is bad or ill-fated. It just means she needs to take the time to focus on her mental, physical, and spiritual health before she can contribute to a loving relationship. One thing is for sure, you should never wait around for someone to change. It may take forever. RELATED: I’m The ‘Crazy’ Girlfriend Everyone Warned You About Heather Hans is a public speaker, psychotherapist, and the author who shares ways people can navigate serious human issues using creative and entertaining methods, such as books, live streams, and leadership coaching.
