Maybe she would say you are an OK husband. Maybe she would even say you are a disappointment to her. All I know is I meet lots of people every week who tell me that their husbands are not so great. Well guys, what does it say that there are an estimated 75 million people on Ashley Madison, the marriage infidelity website, where people can meet other married people who want to cheat? Obviously there are a lot of marriages out there that aren’t so happy. RELATED: I Went Undercover On Ashley Madison To Find Out Why Women Cheat I think that is so sad. They are all someone’s beloved wife or husband, who got married because they were so in love. What happened? They don’t have a great marriage anymore. They are lost. So how do you have a great marriage? It’s a law of nature; you get what you give. Great marriages aren’t accidents. But even if you wouldn’t call your marriage great, you can turn it around. How? Start by being a good husband and you will melt her heart and she in return will be good to you. My beloved wife says I’m a great husband, and I would certainly call our marriage “great” so I asked her what a good husband does to make his wife happy. RELATED: 15 Definitive Signs You’re With A Good Man (As Written By One)
The 6 things good husbands do to make their wives (and marriage!) happy:
1. Tell her she is beautiful, tell her she’s looking great
She is, but do you tell her? Do you say, “Wow babe, you look so beautiful tonight. Your eyes are so incredible.” Watch her light up when you say it, especially when you mean it. Guys say all the time, “I don’t need to tell her, she already knows I think she is beautiful, that’s why I married her.” Yes, she already knows it, but she needs to hear you say it and she needs to hear you say it more. Why are you being stingy with your words? Here is the deal; if she loves you and you make her feel better about herself, she will love you even more. Who doesn’t love a compliment? Admit it, you need them too – everybody needs an ego boost every now and then. RELATED: 11 Little Things Men Secretly Adore About The Women They Love
2. Do small things for her
Do you think small things really don’t matter? You are so wrong. Small things aren’t small. They are huge and can have a great impact on how she feels about you and your relationship. It is romantic as heck to leave a love note in her car, or pick up her cleaning so she doesn’t have to. Take her car and fill it up with gas the night before so she doesn’t have to in the morning. Give her a neck massage. Leave a voice mail to let her know you were just thinking about her. She loves knowing you are thinking of her. Be noble and commit these small acts of kindness and you will be her knight in shining armor. Besides it’s a great feeling to help her. OK gents, here is an admission; I write my wife a small love note every weekday morning and she reads it at lunchtime. These mean the world to her. She often says in her crazy-busy world at work the lunchtime note is what gets her through her day. RELATED: 60 Little Understated Ways To Show How Much You REALLY Love Somebody
3. Support her
I am not talking about financially — I am talking about her knowing that her man has her back. She needs to know you are on her side and will protect her, defend her against all the things that hurt her or are upsetting to her. This, by the way, includes the simple act of listening when she is frustrated, not solving it, but letting her vent. Ask her how you can help. You also need to be positive and let her know that you believe in her and pick her up when she is down. She wants to know you are committed to her. As Georgina Chapman once said, “What I love about my husband is he allows me to be the best person I can be.” RELATED: The 12 ‘Golden Rules’ Of Marriage That Couples Who Actually Stay Together Seem To Follow
4. Ask her what she needs
Turn off the TV, put down your phone and stop checking those damn emails. Go somewhere quiet and ask her what she really needs emotionally, physically, spiritually, and every other way. What does she need from you? What would she like you to do more? Less? What needs to be changed? Look we’re not necessarily the best at being mind-readers so please don’t guess. She will really be so touched that you asked. As George Hinckley once said, “If every man would make his prime concern the comfort and well-being of his wife, and every wife make her chief concern the comfort and well-being of her husband, we would have very little divorce in the land.” RELATED: 4 Big Mistakes I Made As A Husband (Psst! I’m The Ex-Husband Now)
5. Tell her what you need
She can’t read your mind either — she doesn’t have a crystal ball. Communication is the key, so have a conversation about what you need from her. What do you want in your marriage? Don’t discuss this in a demanding, complaining, or negative way but a “I want us to have a great marriage” way. Tell her what you want and need and what would make you happy. She wants you to be happy too. RELATED: The Secret Thing Men Want More Than Love (And How To Give It To Them)
6. Set up special dates
Surprise her by making her a candle-lit dinner at home, pick her some flowers, arrange a date night by surprising her with concert tickets, plan short overnight getaways just for the two of you. Take her on a hike and pack her favorite food for the picnic. Special dates have a magic and keep the spark going. A fire goes out if it is not constantly fed. You had great hot dates when you were dating, why don’t you have them now? You stopped trying so hard because let’s face it — you won her over. So I’m now laying down the gauntlet. And my friend I am challenging you to be a great husband, not just average, not OK, not just less irritating — but great. You can do it if you just make the commitment. You made a commitment to marry her, so make a commitment to be a great husband. Your reward is that you will have a marriage and life filled with joy, pleasure and happiness. And when people ask her about her marriage she will smile, and with a twinkle in her eye say, “I have a great husband!” RELATED: 6 Sweet Signs You’re Already In The Right Relationship Shawn Doyle is a certified professional speaker, author and coach who has written 16 books and been published on Good Men Project, Inc., Huffington Post and Lifehack. This article was originally published at The Good Men Project. Reprinted with permission from the author.
