The tradition of giving a bride-to-be advice is really just a way for loved ones to offer their encouragement and support prior to the big day. The future wife might even be suffering from pre-wedding jitters, so bridal showers offer guests the opportunity to help soothe her concerns. Offering her uplifting words and lessons you’ve learned from your own relationships can help give her peace of mind (and fuel her excitement!) RELATED: 10 Traditional Wedding Vows You Can Use At Your Own Ceremony
18 pieces of advice to offer the bride at her bridal shower or wedding
1. Don’t forget who you are.
Being married to someone doesn’t mean you should discard your personal beliefs, interests, or anything that makes you, you. Stay true to yourself and remember; authenticity is a treasure.
2. You won’t be perfect, so don’t expect to be.
The pressure of being the “perfect” wife is a heavy (and unrealistic) burden to bear. Your partner loves you the way you are, so don’t feel like you have to uphold any standard of perfection. And the same goes for your spouse! Plus, we’re all human anyway. We’re constantly evolving and that’s what makes us beautiful.
3. Remember your friends and family.
Hubby may be a big part of your new life now, but remember those who were there for you before he was! Prioritizing time together as a couple is definitely important, but so is spending time with others. It’s healthy (and necessary) to maintain different relationships with people and can even help your marriage in the long run.
4. Your marriage won’t look like someone else’s.
That doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. No two marriages “work” the same. As long as you and your partner are in love and happily supporting each other, that’s all that matters.
5. Try to remind yourself that your partner is human too.
There will be times when your husband will do something that’ll upset or anger you. It doesn’t mean that you’re falling out of love or that he no longer cares. Bear in mind that we all react in different ways, and everything can be mended through heart-to-heart conversations.
6. Instead of venting about your spouse, talk to them directly.
The thought of confrontation may be scary, but the benefits of addressing problems head-on outweigh any cons. Being open and honest with your partner will also help cultivate a sense of trust and respect between the two of you.
7. Be receptive to each other’s concerns.
Invalidating your other half’s feelings can uproot their sense of security with you. Be mindful of the way you react to the issues they bring up and practice empathy and patience. Strive to validate one another’s feelings, even if you don’t understand them or agree with them.
8. Carve out “couple time” to enjoy your partner’s company.
We all know how hectic life gets. Whether it’s because of work or future children down the road, a key piece of advice that happily married couples love to offer newlyweds is to make time for each other, even if it’s just some quiet time before bed, 15 minutes drinking coffee together in the morning, or devoting a special night per week. Committing to that time for each other is paramount.
9. Continuously working on your marriage is a must.
Great marriages aren’t something you “magically” stumble upon. Loving someone takes a lot of effort and energy. There’s no such thing as “happily ever after” but there is the opportunity to have a long, happy life together if the two of you are willing to put in the work together. RELATED: 300+ Newlywed Game Questions & How To Play At Home
10. Surround yourself with people who support your union.
Naysayers chip away at your happiness. Whether it’s catty friends or a jealous mother-in-law, it’s always helpful to embrace loved ones who value your marriage. Distance yourself from those who have nothing better to do than criticize your relationship.
11. Never stop learning from (and about) each other.
Marriage is a life-long commitment. You and hubby will face the best and worst of times together. No matter how tough things get, try to look at everything as a lesson that will better your understanding of one another.
12. Choose to love even when it feels hard.
On days when you’re positively fed up with your significant other, do your best to take a deep breath and remind yourself of why you chose them in the first place. Remind yourself of all the things you love about them.
13. Address one another with respect.
Respect is dubbed the “foundation” of any good marriage. Taking the time to let your spouse know you value them and their opinions will strengthen your relationship.
14. Avoid keeping harmful secrets.
While honesty actually isn’t always the best policy for marital bliss, there are certain things you should never lie about. If you’re keeping an embarrassing secret about your past that has nothing to do with your present or your relationship, then you can most likely keep it to yourself. However, if you’re lying to your spouse or manipulating them then, chances are, you’re keeping a secret that you need to come clean about. Secrets also lead to misunderstandings or in worst-case scenarios, a lack of trust.
15. When you make a mistake, take responsibility and seek forgiveness.
A key piece of marriage advice is to remember there’s no “winner” and “loser” when it comes to arguments. You’re on the same team and you need to treat each other that way, even when one of you slips up or you have a disagreement over something. Take accountability, learn from your mistakes, ask for forgiveness and move on.
16. Build each other up.
Your other half should be your biggest cheerleader. Motivate and encourage each other no matter what!
17. Always find time to have fun.
Some of the happiest couples make sure to have fun, even after being married for 40+ years! Excitement helps remind us of all the great memories we share with the person we love, so strive to make time for new things. Plan date nights, enjoy a mutual hobby, put together a picnic, go out for brunch over the weekend, or take a cooking class and make brunch at home together in your own kitchen!
18. Establish boundaries and uphold them.
If you want a healthy relationship, you’ll have to set boundaries. Sit down with your partner and have an honest conversation about what is or isn’t acceptable to you. Doing so early on will help prevent fights or misinterpretations. You’ll also be able to set expectations so you can avoid disappointment and resentment down the road. At the end of the day, bridal showers aren’t about schooling a bride-to-be. Once you’ve offered your advice, let loose and enjoy the celebrations! And don’t forget to wish the bride and groom much happiness on their big day! RELATED: 5 Toxic Marriage Myths That’ll Destroy Your Relationship Yona Dervishi is a writer who is currently working at YourTango as an editorial intern. She covers topics pertaining to self-care, radical acceptance, news, and entertainment.
