It’s a silly word — boobs — but somehow, over the ages, it’s become one of the most common, recognizable ways to refer to a woman’s breasts. But that doesn’t mean it’s the only one. “Boobs” are just one of hundreds, possibly thousands, of slang terms that men and women have used to describe a woman’s breasts. (Or to use a gross modern term — her “chesticles.”) According to The Dictionary of Contemporary Slang, the term “boobs” probably showed up around the late 1600s. Renowned slang lexicographer Jonathon Green believes that “boobs” derives from the word “bubbies,” which has its root in the Latin phrase bibere, which means “to drink.” Over time, bubbies became boobies, which eventually ended up as boobs.
As we mentioned, it’s a little childish, but it’s considerably better than a lot of other terms that men, in particular, have used when speaking about breasts. (Boobs sounds much gentler than something like “sweater meat.”) But language experts can trace nicknames for breasts all the way back to the early 1500s. One of the earliest recorded slang terms for breasts were “paps.” So that means we have over 500 years of boob nicknames in recorded history. That’s just insane. (It also reminds us that we need way more nicknames for man boobs.) RELATED: One Man’s Perspective On Boobs Will Make You Feel Gorgeous To honor that fine tradition, we decided to go back and collect a list of some of the more memorable (or downright strange) historical nicknames for breasts. These come from various sources — mostly notably, Green’s Dictionary of Slang, the Dictionary of Contemporary Slang, and the 1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue. While lexicographers like Green admit that not all of these terms were commonly used, they all appeared in print, in scripts, in newspapers, online — somewhere in the public record. Here are 100 actual nicknames that (primarily) men have given boobs over the past half millennium, starting from the 1500s all the way to the modern era.
Best Funny Names for Boobs
1. Mary Ellens
2. Two puppies fighting in a bag
3. Buzzies
4. Avocados
5. Jersey cities
6. Gay deceivers
7. Lewis and Whitties
8. Glands
9. Threepenny bits
10. Walter Mittys
11. Mods and rockers
12. Moonlight flits
13. Shock absorbers
14. The Dairy
15. Chabobs
16. Groodies
17. Cabman’s rests
18. Dairy arrangements
19. Norks
20. Ninny jugs
21. Cupid’s kettledrums
22. Bushel bubbies
23. Cat-heads
24. The Milk Shop
25. The Upper Works
26. Nature’s founts
27. Baby’s public house
28. Berkeleys
29. Bag of snakes
30. Tooraloorals
31. Prams
32. Milkshakes
33. Honeydews
34. Briskets
35. Field artillery
36. Cats and kitties
37. Bordens
38. Lung-warts
39. The Upper Deck
40. Cheaters
41. Lamps
42. Jabongoes
43. Top bollocks
44. Irish draperies
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Funny Nicknames Guys Call Boobs
45. Yabbos
46. Udders
47. Plumpers
48. Gazongas
49. Bombers
50. Watermelons
51. Cans
52. Hooters
53. Melons
54. Coconuts
55. Apples
56. Dumplings
57. Titties
58. Knockers
59. Jugs
60. Airbags
61. Honkers
62. Funbags
63. Hangers
64. Baby bumpers
65. Doorknobs
Giphy RELATED: There Are 7 ‘Types’ Of Breasts: Which Kind Do You Have?
Slang for Large Breasts
66. Wallopies
67. Bazooms
68. Heavers
69. Milkers
70. Maracas
71. Nice ones
72. Bazookas
73. Lunch pails
74. Chubbies
75. Bodacious tatas
76. Bazoombas
77. Jigglers
78. Globes
79. Big brown eyes
80. Dinner buckets
81. Equipment
82. East and West
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Funny Names for Small Boobs
83. Shirt potatoes
84. Flithy pillows
85. Pippins
86. Dibs
87. Lumps of temptations
88. Bonbons
89. Doodads
90. Nubbies
91. Top ‘uns
92. Num-nums
93. Fried eggs
94. Paps
95. Chi-chis
96. Nay-nays
97. Thingies
98. Ivory balls
99. Poonts
100. Bee-stings
Tenor RELATED: 13 Scientific Reasons Small Boobs Are The Best Boobs Tom Burns is a husband, a dad, and a veteran of the educational publishing industry, living just outside of Detroit Rock City. After years of obsessing about what his daughter was reading, he founded Building-a-Library, a website devoted to helping parents find the right books for their kids.
